What an emotional day I have had. Every time I look at anything I cry! I have been reading one of my friend's blogs about her adoption story and it also has many other adoption stories on there....whew! Where's the box of kleenex? We are progressing on our homestudy. Only 3 more pieces of paper to get sent in. We sent off our contract today to our placing agency so things are progressing nicely. I cannot imagine what our beautiful babies will look like! Beautiful no matter what!!!!!! So many things are going through my head at this moment. Should we or should we not take our children with us? Do we really have what it is going to take to do this? The list goes on and on. It is at a time such as this that I go into my room, shut the door and pour it out to my God. I was reading tonight to Erin from Genesis 6,7,&8. She had questions about whether or not all of God's Word is true and how do you know since different translations of the Bible say things a bit differently? WOW! Is she really 8? Dan and I must be on our toes at all times, believe me. It brought me to Job. Beginning in chapter 38 God has had enough of listening to Job and his "friends". My translation says, "Then the Lord answered Job from a whirlwind: Why are you using your ignorance to deny my providence? Now get ready to fight, for I am going to demand some answers from you, and you must reply." This is serious business. God doesn't stop. He continues until the beginning of chapter 42. I must insist that you read it for your own good. I digress though. The reason for my bringing up Job is for the fact that Erin had questions about the animal called the "behemoth" and the animal called the "leviathon" in chapters 40 and 41. She wanted to know how we can really believe ALL of what the Bible has to say because we (her parents) believe that those things were what we now know as dinosaurs. The world of course tells her other things. Even other translations have foot notes that say the behemoth was most likely a hippopotamus or an elephant and that the leviathan was probably a crocodile or a whale of some kind, maybe a shark. Have you ever REALLY read those chapters? Let's talk about the behemoth "hippo" for a minute. Job 40:19-20 says, "How ferocious he is among all of God's creation, so let whoever hopes to master him bring a sharp sword! The mountains offer their best food to him-the other wild animals on which he preys." Ummm.......I'm not thinking this is the kind of hippo I know, and you? Well, OK you say, let's entertain the thought that maybe I'm wrong (it's happened many times before) but what about the leviathan? Job 41:1-2 says "Can you catch leviathan with a hook and line? Or put a noose around his tongue? Can you tie him with a rope through the nose, or pierce his jaw with a spike?

Then there's verse 7, "Will his hide be hurt by darts, or his head with a harpoon?" I believe from the previous verses that crocs, whales and sharks have all been eliminated here. Ok, again, let me entertain the humerous idea that the previous mentioned are still in the picture. This was the clencher for me. Job 41:18-21 says, "When he sneezes, the sunlight sparkles like lightning across the vapor droplets. His eyes glow like sparks. Fire leaps from his mouth. Smoke flows from his nostrils, like steam from a boiling pot that is fired by dry rushes. Yes, his breath would kindle coals-flames leap from his mouth." WHAT!?! That must have been one messed up croco-whale-shark! Seriously, can you deny what this is saying? Oh boy, I'm going to say it, yes, these creatures really did live with us humans. No, not millions of years ago. More like 5000-6000 years ago, maybe even after that. When the Creation story is told in Genesis 1, God really meant it when He said He created every thing in six, yes six, literal days. The leviathan was created on day 5. The behemoth AND man were created on day 6. I love how the bible answers and reaffirms itself over and over again. I love 2 Timothy 3:15-17. It says,"You know how, when you were a small child, you were taught the Holy Scriptures; and it is these that make you wise to accept God's salvation by trusting in Christ Jesus. The whole Bible was given to us by inspiration from God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right. It is God's way of making us well prepared at every point, fully equipped to do good to everyone." Read it for yourself. Pray first, ask God to open your eyes, seek Him and guess what? You will find Him. (Matt 7:7)

God Provides All Things

I just have to say that God is absolutely amazing! Why am I always so surprised when He does what His Word promises? Well, maybe not surprised but none the less awestruck and humbled. I need to give you a little background here. When we first knew that we were supposed to do this our next question was "where are we going to get the money?" We knew that it was a good time to refinance our house for a better interest rate and to lower our payments a little. We also knew that since we have lived here for 6 years and done some work to the house that we would have a little home equity to boot. In a better economy maybe. We found out that we did not have home equity which we determined was a serious blow to our theory of adoption funds. Dan and I prayed about it of course. Dan asked me to just let God have it. He said something that I had never really thought about before and that was we have never really ever had to trust God blindly that He would provide. We always have a plan. We like security. We have never really trusted God to come through with financial things before especially something this expensive. So, we gave it to God and said "we are trusting that You will provide. You promise in your word that when you call Your people to a task You provide what they need to accomplish it. We are trusting You for everything." It was hard and it is hard. Our inborn nature screams just the opposite. It says, "Have a backup plan just in case. You need security!" Really, what is more secure, worldly goods or God's promise of care and protection? Anyway, we did get the loan to make our payments lower but no extra on the side. We were beginning to write some hefty checks to our agencies and we were just trusting. We found out that our homestudy was going to cost $1,500 in addition to application fees, finger printing fees, certified birth certificates, marriage licenses, etc. We were expecting those fees of course but we were hoping to know for sure where the money was going to come from. Well, when the bank called and told us our loan had been approved for X amount of dollars she asked me if we had paid September payment yet. I told her no and she said, "Good, your first payment is due on October 1st so you will have no September payment." I realized at that point that our house payment was right about $1,500. Yes, you guessed it, the homestudy was covered. Oh but wait, it gets better! About a week later the bank calls again to go over the details of our loan. She proceeds to tell me that after the closing we would get back right about $2,000 dollars. Dan proceeded to go out to the mailbox and the contract for our placing agency was in the mail. We needed to send in another $1,200 with the signed contract. It was covered, along with everything we had spent up until that very moment. God had provided every single penny except $6.10 and I probably miscalculated in there somewhere. WOW is all I can say!! How much more is He going to show us? I can't wait to find out! Another awesome thing was when my mom went to pick up our marriage licenses the lady did not charge us because she found out that we needed them for adoption! What an amazing God we serve. He is indescribable. I could write for hours telling you every little thing that has transpired. All of these things have allowed us to see that we really are doing God's will. It has strengthened our faith and I know that things may get very hard but we know that it will be for God's Glory. I am brought to my knees when I think about the intimacy God shows someone as insignificant as me. He is omnicent, omnipotent, omnipresent but yet He cares so deeply about the smallest of details for someone so unworthy. It pleases Him to give me what I need to follow His will. I give Him all the glory, honor and praise that my mouth can speak. FOREVER!

The Importance of Friends

I am amazed at the outpouring of support when we tell people that we are going to adopt. I am also amazed that there are many out there who are unsupportive and show an absolute lack of love and care for God's Creation. Most of them don't come right out and say it, (there are a few who do) but you just know. You know by the insensitive questions or the selfish responses. I am not saying that I think everyone should agree with our decision. I think the thing that concerns me the most is their lack of love which shows a deeper problem beneath. Rather than get angry or come back with a sassy retort I take note and realize that this person does not know the Lord. I have a deep compassion for those who do not know God. When God really gets you you begin to understand what it means to love your enemies. Up until a couple of years ago I did not know what that truly meant. I was too wrapped up in MY self, MY life, My family, My schedule, you get the picture. Only when you truly die to yourself can you really know what it means to think of others first and to love your neighbor as yourself. To sacrifice for God and for others takes a total doing away with SELF. I praise God everyday for letting me see this. What is really amazing to me is that the more I think less of myself the happier I become! This does not make sense to the world. At one time it did not really make sense to me. I remember a few years back hearing a sermon where the pastor was talking about a man that he knew and that man could not talk about Jesus with out tearing up. I remember thinking to myself, "Why don't I do that?" That bothered me. I began to pray about this. I began to pray for a compassion for the lost. Jesus promises in His Word that when we pray for anything, according to God's will, it will be done. Today, I cannot think about what Jesus did for me and NOT cry! Oh how I praise God for this! How truly wonderful it is to forget about the things of this world and abide in the Light of Jesus. I am drawn to the song "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" and the wonderful chorus: Turn your eyes upon Jesus
look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace

This is one of so many truths from God's Word that you can be sure of. I am thankful for friends who care. Their support means so very much. When God calls you to a task it is not always easy. You begin to find out who is really with you. For those of you who are with us, we love you as only God can allow us to. Thank you for your support. We will need you so much in the months to come.

Where is all the time?

God gave each of us the time we need to fulfill what He wanted us to accomplish. Have you ever though about that? Each person has just what they need and no more. Well, today I must say that time over the past 2 days has worn me out! I keep thinking, how am I going to get all this done in 60 days or less. Sure most of it can be done but what about the forms from the doctors, LABS, ect. Do they ever get anywhere on time? (LOL) I am just a bit tired because school is starting this week as well. More forms to fill out again! I LOVE ? FORMS!!?!! We are making some progress. I keep getting images in my mind about what these children will look like? Will they look like me and Dan? Will they look more Asian?, Mediteranean? Russia is a massive place and we don't know which area we will be going. Whatever the picture shows, they are ours because God said so.

A New Adventure

I never thought I would ever blog...until today. Our story begins with one thing...God's direction. God has spoken and what can we do but humbly follow? I am Shannon and my husband is Dan. We already have 2 beautiful children, Erin and Sam, but we now know for sure there were meant to be more. Only God can open your heart to love, I mean REALLY love, unconditionally. We know we are selfish by all accounts but God has spoken and we must follow. Looking back, our journey began before we even realized it. We have been being prepared for this for a long time. I am awed by God's perfect timing and His perfect will. He knew it was time. About 2 months ago my cousin (I only have 2) traveled to Ethiopia to pick up her precious new child. She and I had been talking off and on about the process since they began. I had stirring emotions every time we talked but quickly tucked them away. God began His relentless pursuit. Every where I would turn "ADOPTION" would be staring me in the face. Billboards, magazines, conversations with friends, news stories, newspaper articles, Christian literature, and numerous other "reminders" were every where. I realized God was speaking. Then came the big one. My sweet husband says, "You know Shannon, if we are going to think about adoption we really need to do it soon. Let's pray about it." You see, he didn't know what I was seeing and hearing every where. I hadn't told him yet. When he brought up the subject I knew deep down this was going to be for real. Not my will but Yours God, that is what will be done. I confessed to my husband what I had been experiencing. We were speechless for a moment then I think we both knew deep down but we didn't say it. We began to pray that God would make His will very clear. I couldn't think about adoption without tearing up. I still can't. That never happened before. What was going on? Where did this compassion that did not exist even a year ago come from? Oh, I knew of course. It was just one of the many ways God made His will crystal clear for me. We decided after much prayer that it was what we were to do. Memorial Day 2009 Dan made the final decision....it was time. Oh the excitement I felt! Oh the emotions that were within me! Oh now what!?! Our next prayer was "Which country should we adopt from God?" Again, clarity abounded. It was to be Russia. Now, "Which agency God? There are so many. Please lead us to the right one." Well, as if the journey hadn't been good enough yet, it gets better! We began to search relentlessly on the internet for adoption agencies. We, at some point, filled out a form on an unbiased website that would send our information to the appropriate agency(s) and we would get a call within the next few days. We did not receive a call and eventually we forgot about it. One night a few weeks later at 7:30 PM our phone rings and I answer. A lady with a very heavy Russian accent begins to talk to me and asked me if we had found an adoption agency yet. I was skeptical and I thought at first she was a telemarketer! (LOL) I was not in adoption mode when she called and was caught off guard. We began to talk and I kept questioning her about how she got my information. She must have thought I was crazy but she was so patient with me and talked to me for a long time. She had a lot of information and seemed very interested in the children. I told my husband when he got home what happened and he was skeptical too. The next day I called her back and she talked to me again and was again very patient with my questions. After about 4 days we finally figured out that our information we had filled out on the website had been forwarded to her agency. After several weeks, more conversations with her, and much prayer we realized that her agency was the one we should choose. I am still amazed that God took all the confusion out for us and literally had the right agency call us instead of us trying to find them. Problem solved!!!! So many things have fallen into place and I am excited to see what God has in store for us in the months to come. I know we will face challenges, trials, and experience many joys. I look forward to how this will strengthen our family. Yesterday, we received our acceptance letter for the agency here in Missouri to do our homestudy. It has officially begun. Let the journey begin!!!